Trumpism in the Church, a Satirical Observation

 Peter Milloy has a marvelous sense of humor.  He put this in the newsletter of the church he serves.  He is a retired member of the Minnesota Annual Conference serving in the New England Annual Conference.  

Trumpism in the Church,  a Satirical Observation 

In order to boost growth, United Methodist officials have been promoting the ideal of  “strong pastoral leadership.” (This is code for “Do it my way.”)  They’ve recognized that many people respond well to forceful, confident pastors who project an attitude of certainty about their beliefs and have a definite vision for what they want their congregations to be and do.

     I think they’re right.  Driving back from voting in New Hampshire a few months ago, I resolved to be that kind of a leader.  Because I know that’s what all 500 of you want.  We’ll make South Hadley Methodist great again.

     Churches that have strong pastoral leaders grow better than others.  Ever since I started signing executive orders instead of consulting the church council and the trustees about everything, we’ve just been packin’ them in like sardines.  I’m sure you’ve noticed.  Anybody that says otherwise is lying.  

     We can’t just let anybody in, however.  We need extreme vetting of people who want to join our church.  In addition, I will build a big wall to prevent so many people from getting onto our property.  The Catholics will pay for it.  I know that all 800 of you support me in this.

     I also know that my plan to re-write the Bible will be a success.  A huge success.  We need a Bible that tells it like it is, am I right?  I’m gonna drain the swamp.  All those apostles and prophets left over from the Bible of the previous administration, well, they gotta go.  So the new Bible might sound different from what you’re used to.  But I have alternative facts.  If you disagree, you’re fired.  

     Remember that Jesus said, “Blessed are those who look like you, talk like you, and think like you.”  Or somebody told me he said that.  If he didn’t, he should have.  He was a fine savior, though, wasn’t he, folks?  I’m gonna find a place for him on my leadership team here.  We need somebody like him—all 2,000 of us.

    And in conclusion: I want all 5,000 of you to pray for those affected by the Bowling Green Massacre.   And pray that what happened in Sweden won’t happen here.  What happened in Sweden?  I can’t tell you.  It’s classified.  It was terrible, folks, but what happens in Sweden stays in Sweden.

by

Rev. Peter Milloy

Which Christian theocracy?

In yesterday's "The Pen," a liberal newsletter, the writer posed the question, which founding father said this? 

"The National Government will therefore regard it as its first and supreme task to restore to our people unity of mind and will. It will preserve and defend the foundations on which the strength of our  nation rests. It will take under its firm 

protection Christianity as the basis of our morality, and the family as the nucleus of our nation and our state."  

He then wrote, "No, it wasn't Thomas Jefferson, nor Alexander Hamilton, nor James Madison either. Benjamin Franklin, no way.  

"No, it was Adolf Hitler, the founding father of Nazi Germany, from his first radio speech to the German people, in his newly appointed position as Reich Chancellor, on January 31, 1933." 

The writer claimed that President Trump rarely ever read the Bible but he kept by his bedside and read nearly daily the speeches of Adolf Hitler. The writer pointed to the first Mrs. Trump who said that about him. 

For the fun of it, let's presume that the conservative religious leaders are right that America was meant to be a Christian nation. And we can ignore whether or not Hitler influences President Trump more than Jesus does. 

Which Christian faith should we build our nation upon? I've heard Mr. Trump likes Norman Vincent Peale and his "Power of Positive Thinking." Mr. Trump's personal chaplain tends to that kind of thinking. Anyone who knows of Karl Barth's theology would die laughing at the shallowness and selfishness of that theology and would never go along with using Peale as the focus of the new theocracy. 

My own denomination developed in parallel with and is organized very similarly to the U. S. government. I would be tempted to hope the theocracy built on John Wesley's viewpoint would be just right. But we United Methodists would have this problem.  Those of us from the more liberal schools of theology would put a theocracy together one way.  Those from a more conservative seminary would put it together another.  They would not be satisfied with ours nor we with theirs. 

And what of our Lutheran citizens or Roman Catholic? Their denominations are already the state religion of many European countries. They'd be ready to go right now as far as establishing their denominations as our national theocracy. 

Guess what, folks, there ain't none of us that would be happy with someone else's denomination being in charge of our nation and having the privilege of the last word theologically. 

Why do you think the forefathers wanted to avoid a national religion and chose a secular state in which all religions had equal freedom? They saw how the religious wars in England tore it up over the centuries and still roils under the surface between the Northern Irish and the English. The KKK in our country and some of the militias with similar theology have used violence against Catholics, Jews, and ethnics in our lifetime. These radical right religionists would never accept Jesus talking about how God will judge us on our treatment of strangers, the sick, the hungry (Matthew 25: 31-46) or doing unto others as we would have them do unto us (Matthew 7:12).  

"Our kingdom is not of this world," Jesus said (John 18:36). Too many people forget that.

I'm partial to allowing religious freedom and not requiring everyone to abide by my religion. That's America to me.