Dealing with Sexual Misconduct Allegations

I believe in zero tolerance and I believe in fair process.

Based on long experience, I find that those sometimes conflict.  The difficulty is that it can get difficult to distinguish between perception and reality.  

I would love to enjoy the luxury of just believing one side or the other, no matter what.  Women have rightly pointed out that we have tended to believe only the men and never believed the women in the past.  I have examined too many sexual misconduct cases in our denomination to know only believing the men has been grossly unjust.

That is why I am a little worried about using zero tolerance to mean that we must believe women and never believe men when allegations come up.  Again, in my experience, careful examination of the available information showed that in some cases, the women lied.  But the Church officers refused to consider that as a possibility and the ministers' careers and lives were ruined.

So while I agree that women, children, and men should always be safe in the church and that there is no room for any form of sexual misconduct (zero tolerance), we must also have zero tolerance for lying about it.

That will take two additional steps for us to take before we can enforce zero tolerance.  We have to define what is sexual misconduct compared with norrmal human interaction.  With only vague definitions (such as "He seemed to be leering at me"), anyone could destroy another human being's life.  So we should develop lists of the kinds of misconduct causing harm that give specificity to what can be alleged against someone else.  We may even wish to prioritize them in order of harm done so that punishments can be established that fit the crime.

Then we have to apply fair process.

And that fair process has to be exercised by people who seek fairness and justice.  Right now, the Church uses zero tolerance to simply remove anyone accused.  

I have always been concerned about abuse of power.  I do not think it is a good idea to grant an unlimited power to anyone.  Just as it was unjust to only believe men when they are faced with allegations of sexual misconduct, we must beware of granting women the power to have the privilege of always being believed.  

We must take everyone's allegations seriously. But what is to be done when it appears that we have a "he said/she said" situation.

There are ways to verify what is true.  Those ways need to be applied to both men and women when allegations arise.  There are many verification processes that are not intrusive.  There need to be reasonable guidelines with checks and balances to protect each party when verifying may require coming close to intrusion.  

Finally, the evaluation of an allegation may come down to the judgment of a handful of people (a jury, a judge and his/her clerks), a committee) to make the decision about the truth of the allegation and the seriousness of the event.

Everyone of us would love to solve a problem by making the decision ourselves.  Everyone of us would love to be believed no matter what we say,  But we have to realize that we are not always right.  Women (our mothers, our sisters, our wives) have not let us men forget that!  

I wish I could not have to say that there are men who do not do worse with the women in their lives.  Obviously, I can't and won't.  Too many men dominate women (and often everyone else) in their lives and unfortunately they have physical strength to enforce them.

So we have to use the best means to protect the weaker among us from the bullies, no matter how elegantly they apply their power.  And we have to try to keep those means from being in the hands of those who want bullying power.

There is no easy way to avoid harm.  But we have to establish a fair way.  

There are such means that have been established in many nations, cultures, and fields of vocation.  It is time to use those and improve upon them in ways that all parties are safe within them, whether interviews, hearings, or trials.  And if a particular means is not adequate, then let's work hard to improve them for the sake of everyone involved.  

I'm glad that the national conversation has swung to the issue of sexual harassment and misconduct.  I hope we use this opportunity to handle the allegations in fair and just ways that are not as bad as what the victims have already faced.